If It Rained Catnip
by Feathermist with a Laptop
Summary: "If It Rained Catnip" is a parody of Chucklez-Lives-On's story, "When StarClan Gets Bored." This is a random story about the Clans, beginning with catnip raining out of the sky. It has no real plot. It will be rated "T" in case something unimaginably random happens. I am now accepting OCs, people! Send them in! Oh, and I don't own Warriors, the Erin Hunters do.
1. The Cause of the Raining Catnip

Chapter 1: Introduction

* * *

_I have decided that I will make an example of Chucklez-Lives-On's greatness. This is a parody of her story, "When StarClan Gets Bored." If you haven't already, go read it! It is amazing and random._

_Oh, and these chapters are going to be a little short... I hope you don't mind. Please rate and review to help me improve for you! Now onto the introduction._

* * *

One sunny day, the cats in StarClan were having their seasonal, secret "Turning of the Catnip" ceremony.

"All right," yowled Bluestar, "bring out the catnip!"

From the bushes, Mosskit and Larchkit dragged out a huge trunk of catnip. It was three tail lengths long.

The trunk was set in the middle of a clearing, and all the cats of StarClan were gathered around it.

"Welcome to the seasonal Turning of the Catnip!" announced Raggedstar. "We, as we have done for 57 seasons, are going to give another pawful of catnip permanent effects, which include insanity, hyperness, and addiction to more catnip!"

Everyone cheered.

Leopardstar withdrew a pawful of catnip from the trunk. It was placed on a rock.

"Now we will wait," declared Firestar. "It will happen any moment now."

All of the cats leaned forward and watched as a meteor fell from the sky and hit the catnip. There was a bright, rainbow colored flash, and then all the cats saw the catnip start glowing with rainbow colors.

"HOORAY!" cheered all the cats as another trunk filled with the same sort of rainbow colored catnip. Spottedleaf carefully lifted the catnip into the trunk.

But then something that was not supposed to happen happened.

A giant Twoleg blimp was floating through the sky. The partying cats did not notice.

The Twoleg blimp knocked the trunk of glowing rainbow colored catnip out of StarClan.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" wailed the cats. But it was too late- the catnip had fallen out of the StarClan.

"We can always collect it later," said Snowfur, trying to calm everyone down.

"BUT IT LANDED IN THE CLANS!" sobbed Mousefur. "THEY'RE GONNA EAT IT ALL!"

"Uh- oh… I haven't thought of that," frowned Snowfur.

"THEY SHALL GO INSANE LIKE WE SECRETLY ARE!" screamed Ferncloud.

"WHO CARES? WE LOST THE CATNIP!" screamed the rest of the cats.

"We can always make more," said Crookedstar, "'cause we live forever!"

"SPOTTEDLEAF DIED, REMEMBER?!"

"But she resurrected," said Yellowfang grouchily. "We should be gathering the catnip before the Clans eat it!"

But it was obviously too late…

* * *

_I hope that was okay! Thanks for reading!_


	2. When the Clans ate the Catmint

_Happy late Thanksgiving!_

_I will accept OCs after Chapter 3._

_And I have made a fatal mistake... CLAN CATS CALL CATNIP CATMINT! AAAH!_

_Let's begin..._

* * *

The dawn patrol was getting to leave camp when a bunch of stuff started falling from the sky.

"What's that, Dovewing?" meowed Cloudtail.

"HOW SHOULD I KNOW?" yelled Dovewing.

"BECAUSE OF YOUR POWER! DUH!" yelled Cloudtail.

They got into a yelling match while poor Brackenfur went to tell Bramblestar that there was wierd stuff raining from the sky.

Meanwhile, Dewkit, Snowkit, and Amberkit leaped out of the nursery, followed by their mother.

"Wow, what's that?" mewed Snowkit. "It looks like a lump of yummy rainbow leaves!"

"IT'S CALLED CATMINT, YOU IGNORANT, DUMB KIT!" roared Jayfeather. "WHO DOESN'T KNOW THAT?"

"Us!" squeaked Amberkit defiantly.

"Oooh, can I eat some?" asked Dewkit.

"NO!" cried Brightheart. "It looks so weird!"

But Dewkit had already already eaten some.

* * *

Meanwhile, in StarClan, Hollyleaf was running around in circles and screeching.

"OH NO! DEWKIT ATE HERBS AND HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO WE'RE GONNA DIE!"

"STOP SCREECHING!" screeched Ashfur.

"DIE!" screamed Redtail randomly, ripping apart a leaf.

* * *

Meanwhile, Brackenfur was reporting the falling catmint to Bramblestar.

"... and so then Jayfeather said it was catmint, and then Dewkit asked if he could eat some, and-"

"What's your point?" Bramblestar mewed.

"You should do something about it!" said Brackenfur.

"Fine. All cats old enough to catch their own prey, gather beneath Highledge!" yowled Bramblestar.

"Brackenfur reported that there was catmint falling from the sky, and that Dewkit ate some. Is this true?" asked Bramblestar.

"YES!" screamed the cats.

"Did anyone else eat any?"

"YES! THERE WAS NOTHING IN THE FRESH KILL PILE, SO WE ATE THE CATMINT!"

"GOOD, CUZ I DID TOO!" screamed Bramblestar.

"Uh-oh," muttered Brackenfur, and ran away.

* * *

Meanwhile, catmint fell into the river at RiverClan.

The hunting patrol brought back fish from the river.

"That's a lot of fish," Mistystar mewed approvingly to Reedwhisker. "Why so much?"

"The fish were behaving strangely. For some reason, they kept swimming towards us." replied Reedwhisker.

"Well, that's good. With leaf-bare so close, we'll need all the prey we can get."

What RiverClan did not know was that the fish had been eating catmint.

What they also did not know was that the fish were now contaminated with craziness.

And you know that all the cats are going to eat the prey.

* * *

In ShadowClan, catmint fell onto the fresh kill pile.

When Blackstar looked at the fresh kill pile, it was glowing rainbow colors.

"StarClan must have acknowledged our greatness by sending us magical freshkill," he said cheerfully (or as cheerful as he could get, anyway).

He settled down to eat a frog.

And you know what happens.

* * *

In WindClan, Kestrelflight was pawing a clump of rainbow glowing catmint to Whitetail.

"Here. This should help with your greencough," said Kestrelflight.

"Thank you," said Whitetail. "But I thought you didn't have any!"

"I found these scattered around camp," said Kestrelflight. "One of the kits must have thrown them around."

"At least you have some," growled Nightcloud.

"Yes, with nearly everyone sick, we need all the catmint we can get." meowed Crowfeather.

But you know where the catmint came from.

* * *

_Yay! I finished the second chapter! I will start to accept OCs after Chapter 3. Be patient!_

_Please review more! And you can tell me about any mistakes that I made._

_I will try to update at least once a week, but no promises._


	3. Randomness Begins! Yay!

_Sorry I didn't get the chapter this weekend! I was studying for semester exams._

* * *

_In ThunderClan..._

The next day, Bramblestar called a Clan meeting.

"COME ON, MY FELLOW PSYCHO KITTIES, LET'S KILL THE DROUGHT!" he screamed.

All of the cats ran over and started to rain dance.

"DIE, DROUGHT!" screamed Lionblaze. "GIVE US WATER, STARCLAN!"

* * *

_In StarClan..._

"ENTERTAIN US!" screamed Firestar from StarClan. "THEN WE'LL GIVE YOU WATER!"

* * *

_Back in ThunderClan..._

So the cats of ThunderClan began to dance.

"That's not a rain dance!" yelled Spiderleg at Jayfeather, who was sleeping.

"I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DANCE! I'M BLIND, YOU STINKIN' PIECE OF MOUSEDUNG!" roared Jayfeather.

"Be nice, Jayfeather," sighed Leafpool.

"BUT I'M A GRUMPY KITTY! I WILL GRUMP AS I PLEASE!" roared Jayfeather.

Leafpool sighed and went to file a complaint with StarClan.

* * *

_In StarClan…_

"That's against the warrior code!" protested Hollyleaf to Firestar. "We shouldn't deprive the clans of water just because you want them to dance!"

"I COMMAND YOU, MINION! I WANT TO BE ENTERTAINED, AND I SHALL BE!"

Hollyleaf grabbed a water gun that shot mouse bile and began chasing Firestar.

Firestar crashed into a rain cloud and it fell into the clans.

"DIE!" screamed Redtail, ripping apart a leaf.

* * *

_Back in ThunderClan..._

"It worked!" cheered the dancing ThunderClan cats.

* * *

_In ShadowClan…_

Blackstar was running around in circles.

"I NEED FROGGIES! GO CATCH FROGGIES!" he yelled at Rowanclaw.

"Are you alright, Blackstar?" asked Littlecloud.

"NO!" he screamed. "I NEED FROGGIES!"

Rowanclaw brought a frog over from the fresh kill pile and dropped it in front of Blackstar.

"NO! IT HAS TO BE ABLE TO FART RAINBOWS!"

"WHY?" screamed Rowanclaw.

"BECAUSE OF MAH PURPLE GLITTER PETUNIAS!"

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!"

"GO AWAY, SPARKLE PANSY-FACE!"

"YOU'RE A POOPY HEAD, DUMBO!"

"Hm," frowned Littlecloud. "That's a bit odd."

* * *

_In RiverClan..._

Mistystar woke up in her den and began throwing seaweed at all the cats. (Yes, I know that they don't live by the ocean; I'm just referring to those plants that grow in ponds and stuff.)

"SEAWEED FIGHT!" all the cats screamed. They began throwing seaweed at everyone.

Soon all the cats were covered in seaweed and slime.

"WHERE ARE YOU, MOMMY?" screamed Pebblefoot.

"HERE!" screamed Dawnflower.

Pebblefoot ran up to Reedwhisker. "MOMMY!" he screamed.

"YOUR MOTHER IS OVER THERE!" yelled Reedwhisker.

"OKAY!" Pebblefoot ran over to Hollowflight. "HI MOMMY!"

"I'm not Dawnflower!" growled Hollowflight.

Finally, after asking every seaweed covered cat, Pebblefoot found his "mommy."

"MOMMY!" he screamed.

"PEBBLEFOOT, GO CLEAN YOURSELF! YOU SMELL LIKE A ROTTEN FISH!" screeched Dawnflower.

"Yes mommy." Pebblefoot slouched away and all the cats licked their slimy fur clean.

Then, Minnowtail burst out of the warrior's den, screaming "SEAWEED FIGHT!" and started flinging seaweed at the cats.

This went on for a while.

* * *

_In WindClan..._

Onestar leaped out of his den and screamed, "WE'RE GONNA HAVE A RUNNING RACE!"

"Ooh, a flying race?" mewed Whitetail.

"Cool, a pie race?" asked Sunstrike.

"Whoa, a snorkel race?" squealed Sedgewhisker.

"No, he said a singing race!" protested Heathertail.

"HE SAID A RUNNING RACE!" yelled Nightcloud. "GET THAT FACT INTO YOUR PUNY MOUSE-BRAINED BRAINS!"

"Start here!" yelled Onestar, and pointed to a boulder. "And end here!" He pointed to the sky.

All of the cats tried to jump off the boulder and into the sky.

"MWA HA HA HA! I SAID THAT IT WAS A FLYING RACE, AND A FLYING RACE IT IS!" screamed Whitetail.

"I WILL DEFEAT YOU, PEASANTS!" screamed Breezepelt. Then he fell into the elder's den.

"GET OUTTA HERE, YOUNGSTER!" they screeched in screechy voices.

"Fine." Breezepelt pouted, and then went back to trying to reach the sky.

Finally, after a few hours, Kesterlflight won by dreaming of StarClan. "I win!" he called down to the clan from the stars.

"YAY, KESTRELFLIGHT!" cheered the cats.

"BOO, KESTRELFLIGHT!" screamed Breezepelt.

Kestrelflight ran out of the medicine cat den to Onestar.

"What do I get?" asked Kestrelflight.

"This thingy," Onestar mewed wisely, holding up a piece of grass.

"THAT'S AN AWFUL PRIZE!" yelled Kestrelflight.

"But I don't have anything else!" whined Onestar.

"Okay," said Kestrelflight, and went back to sleep.

* * *

_Yay! Sorry that was kind of short, but like I said, these are probably going to be short._

_Oh, and I'm accepting OCs now. Just fill out the form:_

**Name:**

**Personality:**

**Description:**

**Age:**

**Relationship:**

_I don't expect OCs to start pouring in like they do for Chucklez, so it'll be fine if I don't get any._

_I'm not going to accept new clans like Chucklez, though. Sorry._

_Goodbye, fellow kitties!_


	4. Hello, newcomers!

_Wow! I got 5 OCs. People ARE reading my story!_

_Oh, and I had a lot of time today, so it's long! Enjoy!_

* * *

In ThunderClan, the birds were chirping, the flowers were blooming, and Bramblestar was throwing pineapples at Highledge.

"Whee!" he giggled. "LOOK AT ME, MOMMY!" he screamed.

"Your mom's not here, she's near a deer!" sang Sorreltail, dancing in the warrior den.

"GET OUT OF HERE, I'M SLEEPING!" screamed Dustpelt.

"Fine, dude." Sorreltail pouted and stomped off.

"I LOVE MICE AND VOLES AND THRUSHES AND FINCHES AND SQUIRRELS AND BLAH BLAH BLAH!" screeched Squirrelflight, skipping by.

Bramblestar reached for his pile of pineapples. Suddenly, it burst into flames.

"EEK! SAVE ME, MATEY!" sreamed Bramblestar, leaping behind Squirrelflight.

A bush burst into flame. A small black tom with white patches and green eyes popped up, holding a box of matches.

"HI INFERIOR KITTIES, MY NAME IS RAILHEAD AND I LOVE FIRE!" he roared.

"I'm not inferior to you!" Bramblestar grumped. "You're inferior to me, if anything!"

"Why are you here?" frowned Leafpool.

"'CAUSE HE'S A MOUSEBRAIN!" screamed Jayfeather.

"Well, RiverClan has rivers, so it's hard to light stuff on fire, ShadowClan is kinda marshy, so everything's wet, and in WindClan there's nothing to burn!" said Railhead.

Then Berrynose ran in with a tube of lipstick. "Look, a new color of lipstick was released!"

Then a pretty black and white she-cat with amber eyes ran in and knocked the lipstick out of Berrynose's paw and crushed it. "I HATE GIRLY GIRLS!" she yelled.

"No!" sobbed Berrynose. "NOT MY LIPSTICK! AND I'M A HOT TOM, NOT A GIRL!"

"Whatever," scoffed the she-cat, waving her silver-tipped tail. "I'M GONNA POP SOME TAGS…"

"SILENCE! MUSIC IS HAPPY, SO BE SILENT!" yelled Dustpelt.

"WHO ARE YOU? MARRY ME!" screamed Thornclaw. Blossomfall slapped him.

"I'm Mossbird, and no thank you."

Railhead lit the remains of the lipstick on fire (is lipstick flammable?) as Berrynose continued to sob.

"When will someone marry me?" wailed Thornclaw.

"That would only happen once in a blue moon," scoffed Poppyfrost.

"Hi!" mewed a gorgeous golden tabby with green eyes. "Did you know that a blue moon occurs when there are two full moons in one month?"

"Whoa," mewed Brightheart.

"Yeah! Did you know that a hydrogen atom has two protons?"

"SHUT UP, NO ONE CARES!" screamed Jayfeather.

"Oh, and I'm Timelady!" she mewed. "Did you know that there are 86,400 seconds in a day?"

"MARRY ME!" screamed Thornclaw.

"Did you know that the word 'no' was derived from the Old English word 'ne'?"

"Is that a rejection?" wondered Thornclaw.

"Yes- AND STOP ASKING PRETTY SHE-CATS TO MARRY YOU!" screamed Blossomfall, and hit him with the remains of a pineapple.

Then a bright ginger tabby tom with cream patches ran into the camp. "Do you have Cocoa Puffs?" he asked.

"Uh…" Briarlight frowned.

"What?" mewed the tom, blinking his blue eyes. "What's wrong with Cocoa Puffs?"

"EVERYTHING!" roared Jayfeather and Dustpelt.

"Ooh, we can all obsess over food together!" cheered Cloudtail. "We'll form a... wait, what's your name?"

"Blazingriver!" mewed Blazingriver.

"We'll form the Blazing Cloudy Food Club!" said Cloudtail, and they went off to talk about Cocoa Puffs and other stuff.

Then a butterfly flew into the camp, with a laughing red tabby she-cat with creamy patches trailing after it.

"Hee hee!" she giggled, and collapsed onto the ground twitching. "Hee hee!"

Then she smiled and got up. "Hi, my name is Cherryfur!" she mewed cheerily. "Have you got any rainbows?"

"RAINBOWS ARE CHEERFUL AND PRETTY!" screamed the grumpy kitties (Jayfeather and Dustpelt).

"Did you know that rainbows are formed when white light separates into colorful beams of light?" mewed Timelady.

"Well, I'm cheerful!" smiled Cherryfur. Then a hunting patrol came back.

"Cherrypaw caught a fish in the lake!" mewed Foxleap happily.

"Oh, a fish!" purred Cherryfur. After it was dropped onto the fresh kill pile, and since every elder and kit and queen had already been fed, she ate it.

"Yum!" she smiled. She went off to share tongues with the other cats, and settled down by Leafpool and Squirrelflight.

"Don't you hunt Cocoa Puffs? Shouldn't there be Cocoa Puffs in the fresh kill pile?" wondered Blazingriver.

"Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep so I can prank-uh, I mean, watch you..." sang Mossbird.

That night, it rained, and the next day, a rainbow came out.

"It's an omen!" gasped Bramblestar. "The newcomers shall stay!"

"DANG IT!" yelled Railhead. "ONE OF MY LIGHTERS GOT SOAKED!"

* * *

_Thanks for reading... I'll update next week!_


	5. The Mental Place

_I was busy all day! I couldn't post the chapter all day, sorry!_

_Hey, Nocabbages, can you give me a briefing on your kitties' personalities? You only provided names and descriptions._

_Onto the chapter!_

* * *

"I've gotta go to RiverClan!" mewed Cherryfur. "They have more fishies there!"

She stumbled towards the thorn tunnel, twitching.

Then another bush caught on fire. Railhead was running around with a new lighter.

"EEK! SAVE ME, MATEY!" screamed Bramblestar, leaping behind Squirrelflight.

"He's never talking about Cocoa Puffs," muttered Blazingriver. "He doesn't deserve Cocoa Puffs!"

Blazingriver and Cloudtail had discovered a supply of Cocoa Puffs and were handing out samples to deserving cats.

"Have some Cocoa Puffs!" mewed Cloudtail cheerily, handing a Cocoa Puff to Timelady.

"Did you know that there are over 6 billion consumers of milk around the world?" she asked as she popped it into her mouth.

"Yay!" Blazingriver skipped over to Dustpelt. "Wanna Cocoa Puff?"

"NO!" yelled Dustpelt.

"You don't like Cocoa Puffs?" gasped Blazingriver.

"You don't like Cocoa Puffs?" gasped Cloudtail.

"YOU DON'T LIKE COCOA PUFFS?!" they gasped.

They grabbed Dustpelt and carried him to a mental institution.

"Uh, hello, how may I help you?" mewed the receptionist cat.

"This cat doesn't like COCOA PUFFS!" wailed Blazingriver and Cloudtail.

"WHAT?" cried the receptionist. "Okay, nurse kitties! Take this patient to room C16!"

Nurse kitties ran over and dragged Dustpelt to his room.

"It's not against the law to not like Cocoa Puffs!" growled Dustpelt.

Then Hollyleaf appeared, wearing a sheriff outfit. She was holding a thick law book. She flipped through it and pointed to a page.

"Yes, it is!" she meowed. Then she disappeared.

* * *

Meanwhile, in RiverClan, Cherryfur was bumbling around and chasing minnows in a little pond.

"Hee hee!" she giggled.

"What the…" Reedwhisker stared at her. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm being happy!" she beamed, missing another minnow. She eyed him carefully. "You don't happen to have any rainbows anywhere, do you?"

"No," sighed Reedwhisker, and walked away.

"Who's that kitty?" asked Mistystar, looking up from where she was building a castle out of pebbles.

"I DON'T KNOW! YOU EXPECT TOO MUCH FROM ME!" sobbed Mossyfoot.

"I wasn't talking to you, fishy!" Mistystar screamed.

Meanwhile, Cherryfur finally caught a minnow and was now rolling around and twitching happily, clutching it to her chest.

"Hee hee! Hee hee!"

* * *

Back in the mental institution, the doctors were examining Dustpelt.

"Hmmm…" One of the doctors prodded Dustpelt's spine with his paw. "He has condition 48COC16."

"Alright," mewed another doctor, scribbling on a notepad. "He needs treatment 74P."

"LET ME OUT OF HERE, YOU MOUSE-BRAINS! I DON'T HAVE ANY PROBLEMS!" screamed Dustpelt.

* * *

Back at ThunderClan, Icewing, Birchfall, and Thornclaw were trying to decide on a plan to help Dustpelt escape.

"We'll get in from the main enterance," muttered Birchfall. "We could get in here… get to room C16…"

"Here's an escape route!" meowed Thornclaw, pointing to the cafeteria's nonexistent doors.

"Here's an escape route!" meowed Whitewing, pointing to a window that was left open.

"We'll get out through the window," mewed Birchfall. Thornclaw pouted.

"Now," he continued, "We'll evade the security guards by…"

* * *

Thornclaw was luring Cherryfur out of RiverClan by holding up a fish.

"Hee hee! C'mere, fishy fishy fishy!" giggled Cherryfur.

"Why is that ThunderClan cat leading away our guestie?" squeaked a little kit.

"Because she's insane," mewed its mother.

"Why?"

"That's just the way she is."

"Why?"

"That's just the way she is."

"Why?"

"That's just the way she is."

"WHY?"

"AAAAH! SPANKING FOR YOU!" screamed the queen, and smacked the kit with a soft piece of moss.

"Owie!" complained the kit.

Then Timelady skipped over. "Did you know that moss is of the division Bryophyta and the kingdom Plantae?"

"Ooh!" The kit snatched the spanking moss and cuddled it. "I'm naming it Bryphie!"

"No! That's the spanking moss!" The queen snatched it back. The moss jumped out of her paws.

"I'm Bryphie!" it growled, and jumped back into the kit's paws.

"Yay!" squealed the kit, and danced.

* * *

Outside the mental place, Cherryfur was skipping around and singing songs about rainbows while clutching her dear minnow to herself.

"La la la, rainbows are pretty! La la la, rainbows have pink and brown and silver and peanut butter…"

(The minnow is mysteriously magical, so it won't die.)

"GASP!" gasped the security guards, and ran off to chase the insane kitty (Cherryfur).

Birchfall, Whitewing, and Thornclaw leaped up from behind a bush and scurried into the building.

They jumped into one of those cart thingies filled with cleaning supplies.

"Whee!" squealed Thornclaw. "Shh!" hissed Whitewing. But the custodian cat saw them.

"Hey!" he growled. "You're not supposed to be here!"

"Eep!" The trio dashed out of the cart and into room C16.

"Wha-" The doctors yelped. They were shoved aside as the cats grabbed Dustpelt and jumped out the window. Then Thornclaw collapsed onto the ground.

"Wha-" Birchfall collapsed onto the ground.

"What?" Whitewing ducked behind a bush as a dart shot towards her.

"You have the right to remain silent," mewed dark gray tabby, raising a tranquilizer dart gun. Her green eyes flashed. "Everything you say can and will be held against you. You have the right to a trial. I am Pinestep, and I can and will shoot you with my tranquilizer darts!"

Suddenly, a horde of she-cats ran by. They seemed to be chasing after a dark gray, almost black, cat.

"HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE MARRY ME DUSKSTORM!"

These she-cats were nearly as crazy as Cherryfur.

"G'BYE! I DON'T NEED A RELATIONSHIP, MATES!" yelled the tom with an Australian accent.

"OMSC OMSC OMSC HE CALLED ME HIS MATE!" they screamed hysterically, and ran faster. Whitewing took this opportunity to escape. So did Dustpelt.

* * *

_"But what about Birchfall and Thornclaw?"_ ask my precious readers.

No worries, my friends. The tranquilizer contained catmint, so Birchfall and Thornclaw were now running at hyper speed and singing "50 Ways to Say Goodbye."

Yes, the catmint had taken effect.

So, anyways, two catmint-crazed toms, a dark gray she-cat with a tranquilizer (or a catmint-izer) rifle, a really hot tom with an Australian accent, and a horde of crazy fans were running to the ThunderClan camp.

Yes, the catmint-crazed toms got there first.

"-SHE DRIED UP IN THE DESERT-"

"What," mewed Bramblestar, "is going on?"

"-DROWNED IN A HOT TUB-"

"Oh, um, Dustpelt was shipped to the mental institution, so Birchfall, Thornclaw, and I went to rescue him, then this kitty named Pinestep-"

"-DANCED TO DEATH IN AN EAST SIDE NIGHT CLUB-"

"-shot Birchfall and Thornclaw with catmint darts, then a hot tom ran by-"

"-HELP ME, HELP ME, I'M ALL OUT OF LIES-"

"with a she-cat fan club chasing after him, so…"

"-AND WAYS TO SAY YOU DIED!"

"…yeah." meowed Whitewing.

"Uh, alright then," Leafpool mewed slowly. "I'll be going now…" She ran back to the medicine den.

"'And ways to say you died?' Finally, something good's being sung!" cheered Jayfeather.

"THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE…" screamed/sung the catmint-intoxicated cats.

"FIRE, FIRE, FIRE!" roared Railhead, and tried to light Pinestep's rifle on fire.

"It's fireproof," she mewed, rolling her eyes.

"NO! NO! MY GREATEST ENEMY! FIREPROOF OBJECTS! DIE!" he screeched. He clawed it.

"It's scratchproof," sighed Pinestep.

"AND SHE'S BURNIN' IT DOWN…"

Railhead grabbed his many lighters and went off to set more trees ablaze.

* * *

Blazingriver and Cloudtail were sitting in the shade and talking about prey.

"Have you tried those new chocolate voles?"

"No, where do you get them?"

"At Mousewhisker's Mouse Mart!"

"Oh, where's that?"

"It's by the warrior's den-you know that clump of grass? It's right behind that."

Bramblestar sighed. He sat down.

_PPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTT!_

"OOOOOOOOOOH, YOU FARTED!" giggled Squirrelflight.

"No, I didn't!" complained Bramblestar, peering under his furry rear.

"Hm?" He pulled out a whoopee cushion.

"Ha ha ha ha ho ho hee!" laughed Mossbird, rolling out from behind a bush. She began to sing.

"WE, ARE THE CHAMPIONS, MY FRIEND! AND WE'LL KEEP ON FIGHTING, TILL THE END…"

"That's not nice!" pouted Bramblestar.

"NO TIME FOR LOSERS…" At this, Mossbird ran off, because Bramblestar was a loser.

"Pooey! I'm not a loser!" complained Brambleclaw.

"3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609…" sang a cat with blue-gray fur, skipping by while juggling pies.

"Do you think I'm a loser?" whimpered Bramblestar.

"Do you know the first ten digits of pi?" said the cat suspiciously, tilting his head.

"Uh… no."

"Nine?"

"Uh… no."

"Eight?"

"Uh… no."

"Seven?"

"Uh… no."

"Six?"

"Uh… no."

"Five?"

"Uh… no."

"Four?"

"Uh… no."

"Three?"

"Uh… no."

"Two?"

"One?"

"Uh… no."

"YOU ARE A LOSER! I, JAYCLOUD, HEREBY DUB THEE A LOSER!" roared Jaycloud.

"Waa!" wailed Bramblestar, and sobbed with Berrynose (who was still grieving his lipstick).

* * *

_Jaycloud7, I'm sorry that I didn't put Jaycloud in a lot. I'll make up for it next time! FORGIVE ME!_


	6. Pinestep's Surprise and more randomness

_I AM SO SORRY I DIDN'T UPDATE FOR TWO WEEKS!_

_Read this boring stuff before sending an OC, please:_

I am not very up to date with things. I don't know who sings what, I don't know every single movie in the world, I don't know anything about something called an "anime" that my friend always talks about, I don't know a lot of songs, and I don't know much about pop culture.

Please don't make your cat know about this stuff 'cuz I don't! My hobbies are painting and reading about history and wars and origami, so… on that related note, PredatorAwsome, can you tell me some stuff about Michael Jackson?

I'm just making this exception this one time because I never thought of it.

_That's enough, you can read now, friends._

* * *

After sunset outside the mental place, Cherryfur had overwhelmed the guards with insanity and was now skipping towards a fish.

"Hi, fishy fishy fishy!" she mewed happily. Then she started twitching. She twitched the fish into the sky (don't ask me how).

The fish somehow hit the moon (again, don't ask me why). Then the moon turned blue.

Cherryfur smiled and sat and continued twitching as she watched.

Two cats fell from the moon.

"Hi, Cherryfur the cherry mug sock!" mewed a gray she-cat with white stripes, looking at the sky. She stared, muttering, "Almost… almost… now!"

The fish that Cherryfur twitched into the sky fell down. Bluemoon pounced on it and began hugging it.

Then she ate the edible parts of it.

Then Cherryfur ate the non-edible parts of the fish without dying or choking.

The other cat was chewing on some grass. "Yum, this sock tastes like unicorns!" he said. "Hi, sisters of pocketwatches!"

"Hi, Bluemoon! Hi, Hailblaze! Hi, rainbow!" giggled Cherryfur. "You came!"

The crazy littermates twitched back to camp.

* * *

"Ahhh… sighed Poppyfrost back at the ThunderClan camp. "I'm so glad that we can have a kit!" she mewed, holding a baby doll.

"Yeah!" said Berrynose enthusiastically. "It doesn't whine OR need a diaper change!"

Just then, the baby doll said, "Waaaaaah! Change my diaper!" in a high, squeaky, robotic voice. "Waaaaaah! Change my diaper!"

Berrynose sighed. Then, a she-cat ran into the camp.

"GASP!" she gasped. "A whining babydoll! GASP!"

A white-furred she-cat sighed and facepalmed. "What's surprising about a babydoll?"

"GASP!" gasped the she-cat. "I, StarGASP, gasp because gasping is so GASPful!"

The she-cat, whose name happened to be Facepalmyay (what a coincidence!), facepalmed again.

Then, a gray cat that seemed to be covered in rainbow colored ribbons jumped on her head.

"HI HI HI HI I'M RAINBOWFUR AND I HAVE RAINBOW FUR AND I LOVE RAINBOWS AND PICKPOCKETING!" she screamed.

It turned out that the rainbow ribbons were really just fur.

Facepalmyay facepalmed the best she could with a kitty on her head. Rainbowfur leapt off and hopped over to Berrynose and hid under his tail.

Stargasp gasped. Facepalmyay facepalmed. Hailblaze ate grass.

Pinestep then began shooting Spiderleg with her tranquilizer/catmintizer rifle.

"WHY?" whimpered Spiderleg as he collapsed.

"YOU'RE OLD," growled Pinestep.

"My dad's old!" he mumbled sluggishly.

"But you have gray on your muzzle and Dustpelt doesn't."

Spiderleg went out.

"Oh, well," shrugged Pinestep. She randomly fired her rifle into the crowd, hitting a random she-cat with a dart.

"Mmph…" muttered Ivypool from where she was drooling over Duskstorm, and collapsed.

"Thanks, mate!" meowed Duskstorm with an Australian accent. "Can you hit these other gals, too?"

"Sure!" she mewed evilly. The she-cats collapsed. Pinestep laughed.

Rainbowfur jumped out from under Berrynose's tail and grabbed Railhead's lighter.

"YOU. TOUCHED. MY. LIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTER!" he roared. He pulled out another lighter and ran around, trying to light Rainbowfur on fire. Pinestep shot them both and began sleeping, hugging her rifle like it was a moss ball.

"STARBURTS ARE AWSOME!" screamed a random cat.

"G'day, mate!" mewed Duskstorm.

"Duh," mewed the cat (who just so happened to have Starburst-printed fur).

"That's rude!" scolded Sandstorm.

"Duh," mewed the cat.

"If it's obvious, why are you doing it?"

"Starbursts are awesome!" mewed the cat (who just so happened to be named Starburstsareawesome).

"Ugh!"

"Duh!"

Sandstorm stomped away.

"Pie, pi, pie, pi, pie, pi, pie, pi, it's 3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971, has sugar, and will deposit a kitty in 3.1415926535 seconds!" mewed Jayleaf while skipping by and juggling pies.

An aqua cat exploded out of the pie. "Hi kitties! I am Jaystorm and I am Jaystorm and I and Mortsyaj and I am Jaystorm!" he yelled (find the difference!).

He ran around in circles. Then he suddenly sat down and began licking his paw.

"I'd like to eat a vole," he mewed to himself, and grabbed a vole from the fresh kill pile.

He was about to eat it when he suddenly began disco dancing and screaming "VOLEY MOLEY ROLY POLY!"

There was a cupcake explosion and he suddenly began eating it all.

Then he sat down gain to eat his vole.

Then he started to do the cha-cha while flinging cupcake wrappers into the air.

Then he began to wash himself normally.

Then he did a million other sane and insane things.

Jayleaf ate his pie.

Then Bluemoon, Hailblaze, and our dearest Cherryfur bumbled into the camp. There were three cats and a kit with them.

"Wassup, yo?" mewed the fluffy Siamese tom in the front. "We're just looking for a place to party, ya' know?"

"Okay, you can stay if StarClan says you can!" screamed Jayleaf. He was hugging a squirrel.

"I am the leader," mewed Bramblestar, puffing out his chest. "I handle all of the foreign transactions."

"It's not polite to puff out your chest," scolded Sandstorm. "It shows that you feel superior to others."

"But I am!" whined Bramblestar.

"Shut up, I'm handling this," mewed Leafpool.

"I ALWAYS KNEW YOU HATED ME!" wailed Bramblestar, beginning to sob.

Leafpool rolled her eyes, turning to the cats. "'Kay, who are you?"

"I'm Wassupstar," Wassupstar mewed cooly, straightening his leather jacket and sunglasses (with blue lenses, ooh!). "This is my mate, Memeclaw, my son Coolkit, and my meds cat, Epicmeds."

Wassupstar handed a bundle of catmint to his son, then popped some into his own mouth (coolly).

Memeclaw wore a red leather belt. It had the epic face for a buckle. "Hey, guys," she mewed smoothly. "What are we gonna do now?" She licked her paw and smoothed over her tortoiseshell pelt.

"We're gonna party, mom! Didn't dad 'ready say dat?" mewed the kit, a miniature Wassupstar.

"'Course, son," Memeclaw purred. "Hey, did I 'ready tell ya that there was a book called _Meme Machine_, written by Susan Blackmore, did I?"

"Yeah, mom," mewed Coolkit.

Epicmeds turned to Wassupstar. "We're gonna need catmint, aren't we?" he sang to the tune of one of Michael Jackson's songs.

"Yeah, we definitely will," mewed Wassupstar.

Epicmeds reached into his orange Michael Jackson jacket and pulled out a huge box of catmint. Then he and Wassupstar, Memeclaw, and Coolkit went to go party.

Then a cat wearing a dress with donut patterns on it and a crown with donut-shaped jewels on it poofed into the camp on Highledge.

"I am Starstarthesecond, the second queen of donuts!" she beamed.

"HI STARSTARTHESECOND I LIKE GRASS DO YOU LIKE GRASS GRASS IS SUPER DELICIOUS AND TASTY AND I FEEL VERY HYPER AND BLAH!" yelled Hailblaze. He was eating grass and ripping apart a leaf.

* * *

In StarClan, Redtail was ripping apart a leaf.

* * *

Back in ThunderClan, Bluemoon was now staring with horror at Poppyfrost's baby doll.

"It's an abomination…" she whimpered. "It's… it's…"

"A baby doll," mewed Poppyfrost.

"A horrible, terrifying thing-that-must-not-be-named!" wailed Bluemoon. She put on those thick rubber gloves used for firefighters, grabbed the baby doll, and hurled it into the thorn barrier.

She then burned the gloves.

"There goes our kit!" sighed Berrynose grouchily.

Then a gray-blue tom with coppery eyes (how do the clans know about copper?) padded into the camp.

"Hi," he mewed softly. "I'm Tunafish."

"You have a dumb name," giggled Berrynose.

"I guess it's a little strange," mewed Tunafish.

"It's even dumber than mine!" laughed Berrynose.

"Well, it is true that not a lot of cats have a peculiar name like mine," mumbled Tunafish, looking at his paws.

"You talk really quietly! Do you need a microphone?" snickered Berrynose.

"Okay, that's just RUDE," mewed Sandstorm. "You need a time-out."

"Oh, what about Mister Quiet here?" laughed Berrynose. "Will he get one too?"

Tunafish glared at Berrynose.

"Aww, are you mad?" said Berrynose in a mocking, high pitched, squeaky voice. "Bet you don't have the guts to attack me!"

Tunafish then proceeded to lift his paw.

"You gonna punch me?" snorted Berrynose.

A bunch of fish shot out of Tunafish's paw at 100 tree-lengths a second. Berrynose slammed into the thorn barrier, covered in dead fish.

Tunafish purred and settled down to wash himself. Blossomfall skipped by. "Hi, who are you?"

She then sniffed the air. It smelled tuna-y.

She suddenly ran over to where Jaystorm was and began tap dancing upside-down with him while singing Cherryfur's rainbow song.

"LA LA LA, RAINBOWS ARE PRETTY…"

Then a pretty white she-cat surrounded by sparkles ran over and poked Pinestep in the ribs.

"Hey, Pinestep, it's me, Magicflower! How's your rifle doing?" she mewed.

"WHAT? INTRUDER! INTRUDER! DIE DIE!" roared Pinestep, jerking awake and brandishing her rifle.

"Hi Pinestep!" mewed Magicflower again.

"EEEEK! Who are YOU?" Pinestep yelled.

"Never mind that, how's your rifle? Have you kept your New Year's Resolution of not shooting cats?

"Uh, no- er, I mean- maybe- uh- HOW DO YOU KNOW MY RESOLUTION?!"

"You told me!" mewed Magicflower.

"EEEEEEEE WHY DID I TELL YOU?" screamed Pinestep, freaking out.

"Well, you tol-"

Pinestep began shooting at Magicflower. Magicflower quickly sprouted wings and flew into the sky, but was shot nevertheless (Pinestep had a lot of target practice, you know).

Magicflower collapsed.

Remember the other cats that Pinestep shot?

Well, they went hyper when they woke up and began doing what Jaystorm was doing- spinning around and whacking beetles.

A pickle pie fell from the sky (courtesy of Jayleaf). The cats ate it and danced.

* * *

_Aquastream, what are your cats' personalities and how do they look like?_

_Jenna, please tell me some stuff about Steam Powered Giraffe!_

_PreadatorAwsome, what are some Michael Jackson things that I need to know for Epicmeds?_

_Thank you for your patience! Bye!_


	7. Evil Unicorns and Cliffs

I DIDN'T UPDATE ON TIME AGAIN! I AM SO SORRY!

I have a poll on my profile about the title of my story. Please vote!

Okay, read now.

* * *

Bramblestar burped loudly. "That was a delicious pickle pie!" he mewed sleepily.

"Burping is rude," scolded Sandstorm. "And if you liked that pie, you should thank Jayleaf."

"It's below my authority to thank a beggar like that!" gasped Bramblestar, offended.

"I'm not a beggar," said Jayleaf matter-of-factly. "In fact, I happen to have more money than you."

"Yeah? I've got a hundred bucks," said Bramblestar proudly. "What about you? Huh? Huh? I bet you've got only one penny!"

"Actually, I happen to have 3,141,592,653,589,793,238,462,643 dollars," said Jayleaf cheerily (part of pi without the decimal point).

"YOU ROBBED ME!" screamed Bramblestar.

"Actually, loser, we happened to tip Jayleaf millions of dollars for the pickle pie," mewed Jayfeather grouchily.

"WHY NOT ME WHY NOT ME WHY NOT ME WHY NOT ME?!" screamed Bramblestar.

"WELL, YOU POOPY-HEAD, IF YOU WOULD JUST SHUT UP-" Jayfeather started, then stopped.

Do you know why he stopped talking?

A silver she-cat with ginger stripes landed on Jayfeather and broke one of his ribs.

Jayfeather would like to know if that is a valid excuse for stopping his ranting.

It's not.

Anyways, since you missed the beginning of this she-cat's entrance, let's have a slow-motion replay.

* * *

-~-replay-~-

|A quiet she-cat is skipping along the edge of the cliff-thingy that hangs over ThunderClan's camp.

A butterfly grabs a huge tree branch and trips the she-cat, causing her to fall into the hollow, bounce like a snail off of Highledge (oh, wait, snails don't bounce, never mind), springs of the side of the cliff, does a flip, and crushes Jayfeather.|

* * *

-~- present time-~-

Jayfeather, displeased, ignores his great pain as he drags himself over to Railhead's box of lighters and steals one. He attemps to light this she-cat on fire for causing him great pain.

This she-cat remains calm and still. Jayfeather is about to light her on fire. However, she does not scream.

My readers now attempt to kill me for speaking so formally after the replay.

So I'll talk normally because I want to keep typing, preferably without dying.

So this she-cat leapt up into the air- wait, no- she suddenly began randomly jumping up and down like a snail (oh, wait, snails don't bounce, never mind).

She started flipping around and screaming, "WHEE WHEE WHEE WHEE WHEE!" Then she ran over to Dovewing and asked eagerly, "Will you go out with me?"

"Uh… I'm just going to go on a hunting patrol now…" she mewed awkwardly. Dovewing proceeded to dash out of the thorn tunnel screaming.

The she-cat, named Hyperquiet, suddenly calmed down and began to groom herself quietly.

After 30 seconds, she got up, ran over to a picture of Dovewing, and asked, "Will you go out with me?"

"DOVEWING'S MINE!" yelled Bumblestripe. Bumblestripe ran after Hyperquiet angrily.

Meanwhile, Pinestep was acting very scary. "WHERE'S MY RIFLE? IF YOU STOLE MY RIFLE, PREPARE TO DIE!"

Rainbowfur shifted her haunches to better conceal the rifle that she had stolen.

Hyperquiet was now sitting normally and quietly.

Then, a she-cat cat named Silverfreckle tumbled out of the sky. "HI!" she mewed cheerfully.

"HI! Who are you?" mewed Squirrelflight.

"I and I ONLY handle the foreign transactions," grumped Bramblestar.

"If I recall correctly, Leafpool handled that last time."

"That's just 'cuz she was bullying me!" screamed Bramblestar.

"Chill out, dude. Have yourself some catmint," mewed Wassupstar, shoving a wad of catmint down Bramblestar's throat.

Bramblestar started choking. "AAAA- cough- AAAAAAAA- choke- AAAAAAAAAAAAAH- hak- AAAAH HELP!"

While Bramblestar was choking, Squirrelflight spoke to Silverfreckle. "Hi! Welcome to the clans. Here is your 'Welcome Fruit Basket.'" Squirrelflight handed a basket of not-so-nice-smelling spinach to Silverfreckle.

"Uh… this is spinach," said Silverfreckle.

Squirrelflight stalked over to Spiderleg. "YOU are in charge of the fruit baskets," she growled. "What happened?"

"I didn't do anything wrong!" protested Spiderleg. "I put in a papaya, a kiwi, an apple, and an orange! Just like you said!"

Just then, a kiwi bird hopped over to the two quarreling cats. There was papaya juice, apple juice, and orange juice staining its beak.

Facepalmyay face palmed. "A kiwi, not a kiwi bird," she mewed exasperatedly.

"How was I supposed to know?" complained Spiderleg, causing Facepalmyay to face palm.

"It's a fruit basket," said Squirrelflight slowly, "not a bird basket."

The kiwi burped.

* * *

"DIE!" roared Pinestep. "WHO STOLE MY RIFLE?" She began to attack random cats.

"Ow! What's your problem, mate?" yelped Duskstorm indignantly as Pinestep clawed him.

"Did you steal my rifle?" growled Pinestep.

"N-n-no," mumbled Duskstorm.

"Okay." Pinestep skipped away and started beating up Thornclaw.

Duskstorm ran away with she-cats dashing after him. "MARRY ME MARRY ME MARRY ME!"

Starbustsareawesome was saying, "Duh… Starbursts are awesome… Duh…"

There was a cloud of grass and spinach swirling around a pile of baskets. Hailblaze was tearing up the ground and stuffing grass into his mouth.

Grass and spinach fell into the baskets as Squirrelflight groaned.

Then a neon green she-cat named Jimmypelt ran over. "When I was in the war, we sang 'Dashing through the snow… in a one-cat open sleigh… o' er fields we go… meowing all the way!' I like pineapples with catmint pencils of rubber bands!"

She then mewed to her left, and mewed, "Bill Schmeebly, we should go pogo sticking up Mount Kitty now."

Straightening her neon pink and neon yellow legwarmers, she began walking sideways up the cliff thingy.

Then a white she-cat with black spots and a brown heart-shaped patch on her shoulder walked in. "Hi! I'm Lilyheart and I am hyper!" She proceeded to bounce up and down.

"GASP!" gasped Stargasp, causing Facepalmyay to face palm.

"Must you gasp?" she asked unhappily.

"GASP!"

"AAAAARGH!" Facepalmyay facepalmed.

"I am the second donut queen!" said Starstarthesecond, eating donuts.

"DONUT QUEEN!" screamed Rainbowfur, bowing (and revealing a rifle).

"MY RIFLE! YOU STOLE IT!" screamed Pinestep.

"Uh… I didn't! A cat made me sit on it!" she stammered.

"WHO?"

Rainbowfur pointed into the crowd of cats. "UM, HER!" she yelled.

"Not me!" yelled Berrynose.

"GRRRR!" Pinestep proceeded to attack him viciously.

Everyone (even Poppyfrost) clapped.

Facepalmyay face palmed.

Lilyheart began eating a vole.

Jayfeather walked by.

"Hiiii, Jayfeather!" giggled Lilyheart.

"Grr," growled Jayfeather.

"Why are you eating a vole?" Jayfeather growled. "Voles are awful! And so are mice, and squirrels, and fish- ew, RiverClan- and finches, and frogs- ew, ShadowClan- and moorhens, and rabbits- ew, WindClan- and pheasants, a-

"PHEASANTS PHEASANTS HYPER PHEASANTS EXPLOSIONS CATMINT DOOM CATMINT BLAH PHEASANTS COWS FUR PHEASANTS!" screamed a pale gold kit.

"GASP!" gasped Stargasp.

A pheasant hit Jayfeather in the head. Honeykit (that's the kit) was throwing pheasants at everyone.

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS!" she screamed at Pinestep, and shoved a pheasant down her throat.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH IT'S YOU AGAIN GETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAY AAAAAAAHHH!" screeched Pinestep (Pinestep knows Honeykit).

"It's me!" agreed Honeykit cheerily. "UNICORNS WILL POKE YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!" she screamed. "THEY WILL HAUNT YOU!"

* * *

"NO! I thought that unicorns were GOOD!" Honeyfern screamed from StarClan.

* * *

Back at ThunderClan, Honeykit was now vibrating. "OOOOOOMMMM…" she screeched while doing a yoga pose.

Cherryfur, Bluemoon, and Hailblaze ran over. "OOOOOOMMMM…" they yelled.

That night, the warrior den was made larger so that the new cats could fit.

Railhead was about to flop onto a nest.

"NO!" screamed Jimmypelt. "You're gonna squash Bill!"

"Grr…" growled Railhead. He lit the nest on fire.

"BILL, RUN!" yelled Jimmypelt.

The warrior den burned to ashes as everyone evacuated.

So the warriors had to sleep outside.

Dustpelt glared at Railhead. "This is your fault!" he growled.

"Would you like to be lit on fire?"

"Um… er… um… no… I DON'T WANNA DIIIIEEEEEE!"

"Okay," Railhead mewed, "then it's not my fault." He slept.

When everyone was asleep, Honeykit slipped out of the nursery. She grabbed a stick that she had hidden and crept over to Squirrelflight's nest.

Honeykit began poking Squirrelflight with the stick. Squirrelflight began muttering, "Don't you DARE take my ice cream, Uni-unicorn."

Honeykit smiled evilly and poked Squirrelflight harder. "HEY! Give it back!" Squirrelflight growled softly.

Honeykit began whacking Squirrelflight. "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" she screamed, bolting awake. Honeykit quickly began to "sleep."

"Oh… it's just a nightmare," sighed Squirrelflight. "I don't think I'll ever get over that awful unicorn." She prodded Leafpool awake. "I'm going to get a drink from the lake. Can you come with me?"

"Sure," replied Leafpool. They went to the lake. Squirrelflight and Leafpool walked down to the lake.

"La la la… zzz… rainbows are pretty… zzzz… rainbows have pink and shilver an benut putterrrrshzzzzzz… snored Cherryfur.

"MINNOW MINNOW MINNOW!" screamed Bluemoon in her sleep.

Railhead was dreaming of fire and explosions.

Facepalmyay was dreaming of facepalming.

Lilyheart was dreaming about Jayfeather.

Rainbowfur was dreaming of stealing a rainbow.

Timelady was dreaming about terrestrial plasma and superatoms.

Jayleaf was dreaming about pie.

Ivypool was dreaming about Duskstorm.

Duskstorm was dreaming about running away to a remote and uninhabited place with no she-cats.

Meanwhile, Squirrelflight had reached the lake and was drinking. She looked into the lake and saw a unicorn.

"Leafpool, there's a unicorn in the lake," she mewed.

"There is?" asked Leafpool. She dunked her head in the lake and looked around. "I don't see a unicorn."

"It's there," said Squirrelflight, sticking her head underwater. The unicorn had disappeared.

"That's strange," she said, shaking water off of her head. She looked at the lake. She saw the unicorn again.

"AAAAHH!" she screeched. "It's there again!"

"I don't see anything," sighed Leafpool. "Maybe you're seeing things."

"SEEING RAINBOWS!" screamed Cherryfur, appearing randomly. Then she twitched back to camp.

Then Squirrelflight screamed. A unicorn was floating above Squirrelflight's head.

"I… AM… THE EVIL UNICORN… I WILL HAUNT YOU IN YOUR DREAMS… I AM THE EVIL UNICORN OF DOOM…" it roared.

A waterphone (scary sounding instrument), a thundersheet (instrument that makes thundery noises), and a bass drum began to play horror music.

"I'M SCARED! I WANT MY MOMMY!" screamed Squirrelflight, trembling.

"I WILL HAUNT YOU…" continued the unicorn. Squirrelflight passed out. Leafpool, screaming, dragged herself and Squirrelflight back to the camp.

Honeykit climbed out of a tree, pulling out her thundersheet, bass drum, and waterphone. She held up a remote control and pushed a button. The unicorn disappeared.

"MWAHA HAHAHA CATMINT HA HA HA HA HA!" she roared. Then she skipped cutely back to camp.


End file.
